Professor Charles Griswold of Boston University wrote an article for The New York Times entitled “On Forgiveness,” where he asks the question of how we can frame the value of forgiving others in terms of moral ideals. He writes:
"Why forgive? What makes it the commendable thing to do at the appropriate time? It's not simply a matter of lifting the burden of toxic resentment or of immobilizing guilt, however beneficial that may be ethically and psychologically. It is not merely therapeutic matter, as though this were just about you. Rather, when the requisite conditions are met, forgiveness is what a good person would seek because it expresses fundamental moral ideals. These include ideals of spiritual growth and renewal: truth-telling; mutual respectful address; responsibility and respect; reconciliation and peace" (Charles Griswold, "On Forgiveness," The New York Times, 26 December 2010).
According to Griswold, forgiveness is a moral value not because of its emotional value for us, but because forgiveness expresses a subset of moral ideals we want the entire world to follow. This kind of modeling is exemplified in Parashat Vayehi, where Joseph shows his brother what it means to choose forgiveness and blessing over vengeance and anger.
Following Jacob’s death, the Torah reveals that Joseph’s brothers were quite concerned about how Joseph would treat them once their father was no longer alive. The Torah states:
“After burying his father, Joseph returned to Egypt, he and his brothers, and all who had gone up with him to bury his father. When Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “What if Joseph hates us and pays us back for all the evil we did to him?”” (Bereishit 50:14-15).
In a fascinating midrash, our rabbis imagined that Joseph’s brothers were afraid because they misinterpreted an action performed by Joseph’s at Jacob’s burial. The midrash states:
“And Joseph’s brothers saw that their father was dead.” What did they now see that they were afraid? When they returned from burying their father, they saw that Joseph went to make a blessing over that pit where his brothers had thrown him. He made a blessing, as as person should do over a place where a miracle was done for him: “Blessed be God, who made me a miracle in this place!” When they saw this, they said, “Now that our father is dead, what if Joseph hates us and pays us back for all the evil that we did to him!” So they sent a message to Joseph, saying: “Your father left this instruction...’So shall you say to Joseph.’” We have searched but we have not found that Jacob left any such instruction! But see the power of peace, that God wrote such things in His Torah about the power of peace (Midrash Tanhuma, Vayehi, 17).
I am always fascinated by this midrash, as it reveals something profound about Joseph’s brothers and Joseph himself. Regarding Joseph’s brothers, we learn that their fear came from misinterpreting why Joseph stood before the pit in which the brothers threw him, believing that seeing the pit would lead Joseph to seek revenge, while Joseph sees the pit as a place of redemption. Regarding Joseph, Aviva Zornberg points out that the miraculous aspect of this midrash is that Joseph “rereads the pit as a space of rebirth, transforming pain into hope,” even thanking God for what this pit ultimately meant to him (Aviva Gottlieb Zornberg,The Murmuring Deep: Reflections on the Biblical Unconscious, 319). Instead of revenge, this midrash acknowledges Joseph’s ultimate gratitude for the good that ultimately came from a bad situation.
Joseph’s attitude is reflected in the way he responds when the brothers plead before him for mercy, with Joseph taking the stance of a reassuring figure. The Torah states:
“His brothers went to him themselves, flung themselves before him, and said, “We are prepared to be your slaves.” But Joseph said to them, “Have no fear! Am I a substitute for God? Besides, although you intended me harm, God intended it for good, so as to bring about the present result-the survival of many people. And so, fear not. I will sustain you and your children.” Thus he reassured them, speaking kindly to them” (Bereishit 50:18-21).
Reflecting the above midrash’s message, Nahum Sarna argues that Joseph tells his brothers they have nothing to fear because the very idea of revenge offends Joseph’s theology. Sarna writes:
“Have no fear!”: Their anxiety is allayed at once. Joseph has no interest in seeking revenge because the very idea offends his personal theology. Man dares not usurp the prerogative of God to whom alone belongs the right of punitive vindication (cf. Lev. 19:18). Moreover, human actions and their consequences are far more profound than human intentions. God may use man’s evil purposes as the instrument for ultimate good, beyond the knowledge, desire, or realization of the human agents involved (cf. Gen. 44:5-7). What may seem to be a chance succession of disparate incidents is in reality a process, so that what has happened and what is unfolding take on meaning when viewed from the perspective of God’s time (cf. Prov. 16:9; 19:21; 20:24) (Nahum Sarna, The JPS Torah Commentary: Genesis, 350).
When we read Joseph’s reactions to his brother’s fears, we see what Joseph knows what his brothers do not, for while Joseph did not choose the path he took from the pit to the highest heights of Egyptian society, both Joseph and his family were ultimately better off for the journey. In the midrash, standing before the pit, Joseph realizes how, in so many unexpected ways, that he was and is a very lucky man.
As you enter this Shabbat, I want you to imagine a moment in your life where someone caused you to experience hardship, but where you ultimately demonstrated your resilience and were better for the experience. If you had the opportunity to enact revenge on that person, would you choose to show vengeance, or would you choose to show that you were strong enough to overcome even the harshest adversity? The ability to forgive, however challenging, expresses the kind of world we want to build, the kind of world Joseph wanted to build with brothers after years of hurt feelings and family strife. May we teach our children to be like Joseph, able to overcome adversity, yet also able to take the highroad and respond to adversity by demonstrating how much better we can be from the experience.
Shabbat Shalom! Hazak Hazak V’Nitzhazek!
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