Sometimes, when my faith is at a nadir, I wonder why God never appears to me, my family, or the Jewish people. To be clear, there are moments in my life when I feel God’s presence, but it is difficult to read the weekly parasha, see how much God’s presence is known to Moses and the Israelites, and not wonder why that presence cannot be experienced in the same way today. The conclusion of Parashat Mishpatim describes a confirmation of the covenant between God and the Israelites, where fire and clouds accompany God on Har Sinai. The text states:
“When Moses went up on the mountain, the cloud covered it, and the glory of the Lord settled on Har Sinai. For six days the cloud covered the mountain, and on the seventh day the Lord called Moses from within the cloud. To the Israelites the appearance of God’s glory was like a consuming fire on top of the mountain. Then Moses entered the cloud as he went up on the mountain. And he stayed on the mountain for forty days and forty nights” (Shemot 24:15-18).
Clearly, the above text is a miraculous event, almost beyond human description. In particular, Nahum Sarna notes that the limitations of language leads the story to describe God’s presence as “like a consuming fire,” for using that metaphor translates “the supernatural reality into terms approximating human experience” (Nahum Sarna, The JPS Torah Commentary: Exodus, 154). However, I cannot read this passage and not imagine how much different our collective faith would be if we could experience a moment even remotely like one from our parasha.
Commenting upon this passage from our parasha, Jack Miles writes in God: A Biography that God’s presence on the mountain underscores the significance of God making his presence felt in this liminal moment in the Israelites’ history. Miles writes:
“The Lord is a menacing and, if for that reason alone, an overwhelmingly real figure in this long passage. Despite the fact that Israel has shouted in unison, “All the Lord has spoken we will faithfully do,” no one knows whether the elders of Israel will be in danger when they enter his presence. They manage to do so safely, however, and look upon him, and eat and drink. The concreteness of these actions of theirs, not to mention the words the Lord speaks or the cloud or the fire, underscores his own concreteness. There is not the slightest question that he is an active partner in the making of the covenant” (Jack Miles, God: A Biography, 388).
For Miles, this passage from our parasha makes explicit that God’s might and majesty is decidedly present in revelation. However, when reading the verse that, “The appearance [mar’eh] of God’s glory was like a consuming fire” (Shemot 24:17), our commentators struggled with the question of whether or not the Israelites can ever be as close to God’s presence as they were in that moment. Below, I will share two different perspectives on the issue, one which focuses on the misdeeds of the Israelites in the past, and the other focusing on our spiritual potential in the present and future.
On the one hand, we find an early midrash that argues that this verse from our parasha describes a contrast between how the Israelites received God’s presence before and after the Golden Calf. The midrash states:
[R. Yishmael said]: “Before the Israelites sinned, what is written in their regard? “The appearance of the glory of the Lord was like a consuming fire on the top of the mountain before the eyes of the children of Israel”” (Shemot 24:17). Said R. Abba bar Kahana, “There were seven veils of fire, one covering the next, and the Israelites gazed and did not fear or take fright.” But when they had sinned, even on the face of the intercessor [Moses] they could not look: ‘And Aaron and all the children of Israel feared...to come near’” (Shemot 34:40)” (Pisiktah D’Rav Kahana 5:3).
Prior to the Golden Calf, the Israelites were able to view God’s consuming fire, but not unable to gaze upon it. However, following the Golden Calf, the Israelites would be consumed with fear when even approaching God’s consuming fire. Taking this perspective, the midrash argues that this verse provides us a window for what could have been in terms of how the Israelites related to God, taking the position that the sin of the Golden Calf led to our inability to approach the divine presence today.
On the other hand, Rabbi Levi Yitzhak of Berdichev writes in the Kedushat Levi that our verse from our parasha provides us a spiritual roadmap to join in a union with God, a roadmap that is conceivable for any Jew who takes Torah seriously. The Kedushat Levi states:
“One who serves God through Torah and mitzvot brings about great joy above. But how do we know if God takes pleasure in our service? The test lies in whether the person’s heart burns constantly with the ecstatic flame of God’s service...This is the meaning of the “the appearance [ma’reh] of God’s glory was like a consuming fire.” [The word mar’eh can also mean “mirror” or “reflection.”] When you want to know if you are truly gazing upon God’s glory and doing what pleases the blessed Holy One, see whether your heart is burning like a consuming fire” (Kedushat Levi on Shemot 24:17).
In this commentary, we are told that it is possible for anyone to feel God’s imminent presence, but it requires a passionate focus on the mitzvot and God’s Torah. The Israelites in the pre-Golden Calf period were not the only one who could gaze upon God’s presence, but receiving that reward today requires an immersion in Torah through our mind, body, and spirit.
At some point, every person in the Schechter community will experience a spiritual nadir, a moment where they wonder if their faith is reasonable and will be, in some sense, rewarded. In those moments, we need to decide whether or not we want our faith to be dictated by the midrash, or by Rabbi Levi Yitzhak. We can believe that God’s imminent presence is a thing of the past that we cannot grasp or experience even if we wanted to, or that an awe-inspiring encounter with the divine is possible for anyone willing to immerse themselves in God’s Torah. Although I can experience low-points in my faith, like any person, I try to remind myself of the Levi Yitzhak perspective every day, knowing if I approach my faith with passion and purpose, God’s fire will appear before in ways both unexpected and (yes) miraculous. All the rest is commentary.
Shabbat Shalom.
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