“All real living is meeting.”
-Martin Buber, I and Thou
Although the Torah does not mention it explicitly, the aftermath of the Akedah plays a major role in the lives of Abraham, Isaac and Sarah in this week’s parasha of Hayyei Sarah. When the Torah describes Isaac’s marriage to Rebecca, an addition at the end of the verse provides significant cause for interpretation. The parasha states:
“And Isaac brought her [Rebecca] into his mother’s Sarah tent, and took Rebecca, and she became his wife; and Isaac loved her, and found comfort after his mother’s death” (Bereishit 24:67).
The Torah says little about Isaac’s personality, and even less about his emotions, yet this reference in our parasha about Isaac finding comfort after his mother’s death leads our commentators to ask themselves for what he needed Rebecca to provide comfort.
In the Midrash Ha-Gadol, a fourteenth century compilation of midrashim, Isaac is presented as intensely grieving over his mother’s death, so much so that the light literally went out from his life:
“Three years Isaac mourned for his mother. Every time he entered her tent, and saw it in darkness, he would tear his hair. But when he married Rebecca, and brought her into the tent, the light returned to its place. “And Isaac brought her into the ohel [the tent]”: ohel means “light,” as it is said, “Till the moon will no longer shine” (Job 25:5). He was comforted and saw it as though his mother were still in existence. That is why it says: “Isaac was comforted after his mother”” (Midrash Ha-Gadol 24:67).
This midrash argues that Rebecca was a replacement for Sarah, bringing a light back to Isaac’s life, as if Sarah was still present. In this case, companionship itself represented the light that Isaac needed, perhaps the reason why Rashi’s comment on the Torah’s verse discusses how mothers and wives provide emotional support for sons and fathers (Rashi on Genesis 24:67).
In his Torah commentary, the Ramban presents two potential explanations to explain this verse, each of which focuses on a different person with whom Isaac formed a connection. Ramban’s first explanation argues that Isaac’s marriage allowed him to find comfort after his mother’s death:
“The reason for this verse is that it relate the honor that Isaac accorded his mother, for all the time since Sarah died they did not pitch her tent, for they said, “Let no other woman come into the tent of the esteemed mistress.” However, when Rebecca arrived, he brought her to that tent, out of honor for her, and there he took her. And this is the meaning of “he loved her and was consoled”: It alludes that he was very distressed over his mother and “a comforter had been far from him,” until he found comfort with his wife, in his love for her. For what reason would there be for [Scripture] to mention a man’s love for his wife?” (Ramban on Genesis 24:67).
In this first explanation, the Ramban takes a similar approach to the midrash, arguing that Rebecca replaced the previous support offered by Sarah. However, Ramban’s second approach brings the translation from the Targum Onkelos, an early Aramaic translation of the Torah, as offering the opinion that this verse reveals the outstanding righteousness of Rebecca, as opposed to the strong bond between Isaac and Sarah:
“Onkelos explains “Isaac brought her into the tent, and behold she was like Sarah his mother.” And this is why it mentions the love, for it was because of her [Rebecca’s] righteousness and her fitting deeds that he loved her and found comfort in her.” (Ibid.).
In this explanation, although Isaac was deeply grieved by the death of his mother, Isaac found comfort primarily because of Rebecca’s outstanding personal qualities.
Finally, in Beginnings, the modern Israeli author Meir Shalev argues that the reference to Rebecca comforting Isaac tells us as much about Sarah as it does about Rebecca, for the fact that Isaac was distressed over his mother’s death reveals the strong bond between mother and son. Shalev writes:
“The signature line of that first encounter is very touching: “Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.” The verse describes, only after Sarah is gone, the deep bond that had existed between mother and son. It also shows that things are never simple and one-sided in any family. In the view of many readers- including me, I must admit-Sarah is often seen as a bad woman, and now and then as a real witch. She abused Hagar and forced Abraham to banish her and Ishmael. Yet she was a good and loving mother to Isaac...She, as opposed to Abraham, would not have obeyed God’s command to sacrifice Isaac as a burnt offering, and the akedah doubtless proved to Isaac that he could trust and love only her. Her death was another big blow after the trial on Mount Moriah” (Meir Shalev, Beginnings: The First Love, the First Hate, the First Dream...Reflections on the Bible’s Intriguing Firsts, 17-18).
Shalev’s commentary brings the entire Abraham narrative full circle, and points out that while we associate the aftermath of the Akedah with a rupture in the relationship between Abraham and Isaac, Sarah’s death removed a critical source of support in Isaac’s life, an equally important loss. While we are given little indication as to how most characters in the Torah feel, when we receive a glimpse into the feelings of Isaac, we come away with deep insights into the nature of his family system.
While commentators both ancient, medieval and modern disagree about who is responsible for Isaac finding comfort in our parasha, all comforters agree that it was the connection with another loving, caring human being that led to Isaac’s emotional change. In the aftermath of the Akedah, Buber’s quote reminds us that Rebecca finding Isaac represents the moment where Isaac could find comfort after intense emotional trauma. In moments when we need a human connection to get through our darkest hours, may we receive the same blessing as Isaac, finding comfort in the presence of those who care about us the most.
Shabbat Shalom!
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