Divrei Rav Josh- Parshat Shelakh Lekha: Emotions on the Fringes

Daniel Goleman writes in Emotional Intelligence that impulse control is one of the key skills in developing one's "Emotional Quotient" (EQ).   He writes:

"A key ability in impulse control is knowing the difference between feelings and actions, and learning to make better emotional decisions by first controlling the impulse to act, then identifying alternative actions and their consequences before acting.  Many competences are interpersonal: reading social and emotional cues, listening, being able to resist negative influences, taking others' perspectives, and understanding what behavior is acceptable to a situation" (Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence, 259).  

According to Goleman, by learning to control impulses, a person develops the capacity to engage in higher-order relationships with other people, which thereby allows them to more successful navigate the personal and emotional challenges that so often keep people from actualizing their potential.  In Parshat Shelakh Lekha, we will see a similar emphasis places upon impulse control through the mitzvah of tzitzit, which our rabbis argue is a mitzvah designed to control our passions so that we might serve God.

In the passage from our parasha that outlines the mitzvah of tzitzit, our parasha contains a curious reference as to the connection between wearing these tzitzit and promoting right conduct by the Israelites:

"This shall be fringes for you, and when you see it, you will remember all the commandments of the Lord to perform them, and you shall not wander after your hearts and after your eyes after which you are going astray" (Bemidbar 15:39).

Our rabbis explored the question of the connection between the image of seeing the tzitzit and engaging in right-conduct and performing God's will.   In his scholarly commentary on the Book of Numbers, Jacob Milgrom writes the following:

"[Tzitzit] are mnemotechnical devices to remind Israel of God's commandments.   Indeed, the purpose of all ritual is, by means of sensual experience, to lead to conviction and finally to action.   The rabbis formulated it thus: "Sight leads to memory and memory to action"" (Jacob Milgrom, The JPS Torah Commentary: Numbers, 128).

Milgrom argues that the tzitzit are a catalyst to commitment a way for the Israelites to a view a physical reminder of their covenant with God, and then act upon their covenant by performing the mitzvot.   However,  in our traditional commentaries, our rabbis will offer a variety of explanations for how this transition from viewing to action takes place.

Rashi's commentary on this verse focuses on the composition of the tzitzit as the way in which a person's eyes will be affected by viewing the tzitzit.  Referencing a midrash from Bemidbar Rabbah, he writes we remember the mitzvot by how the tzitzit are tied:

"You will remember all the commandments of the Lord": because the numerical value of the word tzitzit is six hundred.  [Add to this 600] Eight threads and five knots, and we have six hundred and thirteen" (Rashi on Bemidbar 15:39).  

According to Rashi, because the word tzitzit and the knots and threads of the tzitzit add up to 613, the total number of mitzvot in the Torah, it follows that wearing the tzitzit affect our performance of the mitzvot by providing us a symbolic reminder of all the mitzvot.   Rashi continues by stating citing a different text from Midrash Tanhuma that this reminder will provide a mental check when we are tempted to go astray:

"And you shall not wander after your hearts": "Lo toturu," like "from scouting the Land" (13:5).   The heart and eyes are the spies for the body.  They are its agents for sinning: the eye sees, the heart coverts and the body commits the transgression" (Rashi Ibid.).   

Reading the verse contextually, Rashi asserts that just as the spies in our parasha were influenced to sin by means of what they saw, God commands the Israelites to wear tzitzit so that they might wear something that will influence them to do good, rather than evil.

In a later commentary, Ibn Ezra focuses on the practical tension of wearing the tzitzit in everyday life, and questions whether it is more important to wear tzitzit during tefillot or during the rest of the day.  He writes:

"Those who wear a prayer shawl while praying do so because they recite versus 37-41 as the third paragraph of the Shema.  However, in my opinion, it is more important to wear the fringes during the rest of the day than it is during prayer.   One must observe God's commandments all day, and during prayer is the least likely time for a transgression..."And eyes": The eyes see and the heart desires.   The fringes are both a sign and a symbol that one should not follow the promptings of his hear nor pursue everything his eyes seek" (Ibn Ezra on Bemidbar  15:38-39).

Ibn Ezra's commentary emphasizes that by wearing the tzitzit at all times, as opposed to only during the prayer, the tzitzit fulfill their intended purpose, which is to remind people of the mitzvot at all times.  Like Rashi, Ibn Ezra's commentary argues that the tzitzit are a means by which Israelites will learn to control their passions, and engage in self-control when tempted to diverge from God's will.  

Whether we are teaching our students about how to pursue a life of mitzvot, or helping them deal with difficult people in group projects or the workplace, teaching how to control one's destructive emotions is an essential task of Jewish education.   Like the tzitzit, the more we create habit loops by which we remember how to fight certain impulse, the better we are able to form meaningful relationships with one another in our everyday life, and the better are able to cultivate a life of mitzvot in our spiritual lives.   May we challenge ourselves, our children, and our community, to use the mitzvah of tzitzit to promote the healthy, balance emotions that form the heart of a emotionally intelligent Jewish life.

Shabbat Shalom!